Thursday, October 6, 2011

Wanna See You Wiggle It

On my Facebook feed a lot of women have been posting the picture of the nude, french plus sized model with the story of  the gym that had a picture of  a pretty (and by pretty them mean thin) woman and it said "Do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?"  It's a good story, although I haven't snoped it to see if it's true or not.  I kind of like to think this one is true, so I haven't really felt like bursting my own bubble.

When I first started dating, and I use the term "dating" loosely when applied to like the first six months or so, there came a point when I realized that another man was going to see me naked.

That's when I pulled out a paper bag and tried to if I should breathe into it or put it over my head. 

No, seriously. It did freak me out.  No man had seen me naked in like a bajillion years except my ex-husband.  Oh, and once my dad when he came over to pick up my ex for a fishing trip.  I heard someone trying to find something in the kitchen, it was five am. I went to help, who I thought, was my ex- husband find it, and no.  Dad. GOOD MORNING!!  Gross.

I'll be honest, when I look in the mirror when I'm naked, I'm not pleased by what I see, but I embrace it.  I'm ok with it.  I still hold up girls and think "Ok, you used to be up HERE, and now you're down THERE.  That's unfortunate."  The one plus to having large breasts though is that they were never really UP THERE to begin with.  I was never one of those girls that could walk around without a bra on.  Last time I did that, I was like 11.   My stomach isn't flat.  It's actually quite ugly.  I have a flap.  It's not fat, but it's from carrying 2 babes that ended up being 9 lbs and 9 oz's at 37 weeks and 10 lbs 1 oz at 38 weeks.  So, you know.. there was a lot of stretchin'.  No diet in the world is going to change THAT.  That right there requires surgery.  So that right there?  Isn't something I am too concerned with.  Don't even get me started on my arms.  I hated my arms for many years, then I went and got tattoos on them. Which of course, only brings attention to them.  So, I took something I hated, and made them positive for me, and bam, now I'm all about a tank top, baby.

I have good qualities, I like my white skin (I refuse to tan. I'm quite fanatical about it.) I have nice legs.  My face is pretty, I have cute hair (most the time) and as an overall picture, I'm pretty great.

When I hear stories about how girls can't let their HUSBANDS see them naked, my heart aches for them.  Remember in Bridget Jones' diary when Bridget is trying to get her clothes on under the sheet and then her boyfriened (I forget his name, it was Colin Firth the actor) asks what on earth is she doing, and she says she's getting dressed under the sheet because she doesn't want him to see the jiggly bits, and he replies "But, I like the jiggly bits!" and she stands up, tosses off the sheet and stands there in full glory?  More girls need to do THAT.

If a guy asks you out on a date, or even better asks you to MARRY him. He wants to see you naked! Sure, soceity bombards us with these images of super smoking hot women, and a  lot of guys (I've dated a few) have no problems telling you how they'd wreck those chicks if they could.  Unfotunately, those women aren't looking to bang some guy with a normal job and a normal house and a normal car and a normal way of life.  I mean, they COULD, I shouldn't say never.  But, come on.  Even guys know it's not happening. I like to think a real guy, ultimately wants a REAL woman.  Jiggly bits and all. 

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