I'm Having A Bad Week

So, you know what that means!!  A TWO-FER!!  Two posts in one day.  Lucky, lucky internet. 

Yeah, last week wasn't so great.   Usually I can hold it together.  Portions of my week might be crap, but with some glue and tape and keeping my wits about me, I can usually keep it it together.  This week, well I think I wrote it off around Wednesday and anything shitty that happened after that I was all "Bring it on, life.  Yes, Sir may I have another? Yes SIR May I have another? YES, SIR MAY I HAVE ANOTHER!! YESSSS!!" 

Ahem.

I'm trying REALLY hard to be upbeat and optimistic about this coming week, because if I'm all Debbie Downer about everything, then I'm afraid Karma will say "Oh you think THAT was bad?  You think your ex going through your stuff  while you were at work was terrible?  You think breaking it off with your boyfriend was shitty?  You think getting a call from the school about Aislinn's tardiness was awful?  You think Jonny breaking the tv was crap?  You think your baby sister leaving for California was devastating?  You think fighting with your daughter every morning was horrible?  You think your son blaming you for the divorce was gut wrenching? You think having to work with a dude that burps all day long is aggravating?  Well GUESS WHAT, BITCH?

BAM!

I wake up with a penis.

*Insert horror movie scream here*