Monday, October 24, 2011

Dude Fast

I used to be an avid low carber.  One day I woke up and I decided I was just done. I was just done with  my dependence on sugar and carbs.  I was done with feeling like shit both physically and mentally.  I don't know what made me make this choice, but I did it and for after 8 months and a 40 lb weight loss, my life was changed forever.  My relationship with food has changed so much.  I used to think about food  Seriously.  Now, I don't thing about it nearly as much.  I eat to survive.  I eat fast food, but only for convenience and I usually don't enjoy it.  Where I used to be super picky about what I ate, now I'll eat something just to fill my belly.  Even though I no longer follow a low carb plan, I still carry the lessons I've learned with me even now.

I bring this up because I've decided to go on a "dude fast". 

My original intent was to go on a "man fast" but a quick google search showed that there is a religious website with that very name. I got far as "sinful sexuality" before I left the site.  So, man fast has lost it's zing to me. I'll go with dude fast.

So, why the dude fast?  I don't know.  I don't want to use the word "dependence" but I think that sometimes, I do have a need to always have a man or two in my pocket.  It's usually under the guise of "just friends" but I realized after this break-up that I was using them to boost my ego. 

One might ask, well what's wrong with that? Sounds like a pretty sweet set up.  Well, I just don't want to want that anymore.  I feel like I can't get to know me until I remove all these penises from my life, at least for a little bit.  It takes about 3 weeks to change or dispose of a habit.  I have proven this several times.  I just want to give myself at least 3 weeks to see if I can change this about myself.  If I can get through a week without having some guy tell me how amazing I am. 

There will be exceptions of course.  My best friend, Mike and my dad of course.  The husbands of my girl friends. Any male family member.

I'm really looking forward to this.

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