This weekend has been interesting to say the least. It started on Friday and has continued until today. It basically had to do with the Ex and his new girlfriend having to figure out how to parent the kids. She texts me, she badmouthed him to me, I defended him, blah blah blah. Next thing I know.. it's all my fault.
The interesting thing, and the subject of this post starts off with this. Why does my ex ALWAYS tell me whenever he and his girlfriend break up? Granted, they're back together like they always are. Apparantly, they're twelve and this is the sixth time they've broken up. They've lived together less than a month.
Everytie though, my ex feels the need to tell me about it. I always feel sorry for him, and I always try to give him advice except this time. This time, I really didn't give a shit, because I knew it was going to be short-lived. I texted him I'm sorry and that was that.
It bothers me though, because I feel like whenever his life goes to shit, I have to fix it. I didn't get sucked into it this time, but it still annoys me. WHY tell me when you and your girlfriend break up? If I were in his shoes, I wouldn't tell me. That's like admitting defeat... six fucking times. We're talking details, things she said that only bites him in the ass later when he goes back to her. I'm sorry I don't know if I feel comfortable having my kids somewhere where the person has said twice now she can't handle little kids. He always says it's his fault, that he misunderstood. How you can misunderstand such a straight and to the point sentence, two times in a a few months is beyond me. But he swears this is the case.
Talking to Mike, who besides my sisters, is my very bestest friend ever, and I thank God for his understanding wife over our relationship. I asked him what he thought it meant, what he thought Ex was accomplishing by telling me everytime he breaks up with her or vice versa? Mike, being a man and to the point just said "Well, who else does he have to tell?"
My persepective changed in that moment because Mike is right. Who else does he have to tell? No one. He's alienated all his friends, he just has her and her daughter. He's not close with his family. I got to thinking about all the people that heard my story this weekend, who not only heard it, but understood me, encouraged me, gave me straight talk, and who were in my corner. All day I've been on the phone trying to get just get out my frustrations with this fucked up situation.
First it was Teri, my best girlfriend (Other than my sisters) who lives in Jersey who called me as soon as she could so we could rant about exes. Even though she is the busiest person I know, she always makes the time and makes me laugh.
While we were talking, Sam called because he had missed my earlier call. A guy who is going through almost the identical situation as I am with his daughter and his ex wife and we lean on each other when we just don't get it.
Then Mike who gave his perspective because he has known Tony for as long as I have, and we've all hung out together.
Then, my sister Michelle who being the fixer of the family, told me her opinion on how it should be handled and it made sense.
And these are just the tip of the iceberg. I could have called ten other people if I needed to.
I'm a lucky, lucky girl. Sometimes, it takes something shitty to happen to make you see what you do have. My week had been stressful, but everyone of these people helped me through it, not just this weekend but everyday. I love them all desperately, and they make my life what it is. I thank you all for that.