Saturday, January 14, 2012

Dude Fast Update

I realized I haven't really updated about my dude fast.  Well, it's still going, but not because I'm keeping it going.  Dude Fast has turned into Dude Famine.  Seriously and for reals.  I'm ok with that though.

I have allowed myself to commence with speaking to men other than my friends, I'm just not really speaking to them and that's a good thing.  I don't have the want or the need.  The dude fast was really eye opening and I'm really glad I did it, but I may be taking it too far now as I really don't have a real want to date right now.

Dating is EXHAUSTING and I'm lazy.  Really lazy.  I want to like, fast forward to the part where I can show up at your house in sweats and tshirt sans bra, hair in a ponytail.  I want to get right to the being bumps on the couch part.  The beginning part is too much.   Fixing my hair, putting on make up, wearing tight jeans while wearing sexy panties made out of some synthetic material and hoping to GOD you don't get some type of yeast infection from the tight jean/sexy panty combo.  The driving, the small talk, the "what the FUCK DO I DO WITH MY HANDS? moments.  The sucking in my gut for a whole evening.  The shaving. OMG ALL THE FUCKING SHAVING.

Today, a friend called me while I was getting ready for work. Actually, it was dude I used to obsessively pine over.  Since my dude fast, I am proud to say I no longer pine for him and we rarely even speak much anymore.  He called me this morning though, and he asked if I was getting dressed up for work and I said no, I was trying to wear something that was as close to sweatpants as possible without getting in trouble.  He said something like even though he doesn't have anyone to dress up for, he still likes to look nice when he goes to work becuase you  never know who you'll meet.

 Eff that, homie. 

 I know looking good makes you FEEL better, but sometimes, for me anyway, I just don't give a shit about strutting my stuff.  Sometimes, I just want to be comfortable because THAT is what's going to make feel better.  Because it's cold and I only have to work for 5 hours max on a Saturday and I'm just going to come home and put my sweats on and be done with it. 

I love my sweatpants.

I'm not impressed.  That's the problem.  I've been dating off and on for about two years and I'm not impressed.   Someone has to impress me enough to make me want to get out of my sweatpants into heels and tight jeans.  Good luck, fellas

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