Sunday, March 4, 2012

Being Still

One day when I was having one of my moments at work, a moment where I feel the whole world is falling down on me, and I just don't know if I can do this shit one more day, my co-worker, who has turned into a really great friend, said something that really stuck with me.  She was exasperated at my little freak out moment, and said in her sassy, black girl tone "Dang Sandi.  Just... BE STILL! Just be still and let Him do his work."

Be still.

Then Sunday at church, the choir sang a song called "Be Still" and it brought me comfort and drove my friends message home.

Be still.

Be. Still.

Even if you're not overly churchy, it's a good thought.  Be still and let nature takes it course,  Be still and let Karma do it's thang.  Be still and just listen.  Be still and wonder at the life you have.  Be still and love all those around you.  Be still and give thanks for everything and everyone in your life.  Be still and let God do what he will.

Be still.

Since then, I've tried to be still.  When my heart feels like it's going to pound out of my chest, and my forehead breaks out in a sweat.  When I start to worry about things I have no control over, when I worry about the what ifs, I take a deep breath and I say "Be still.  Be still.  Just, be still and quiet." and I am awash in calm.  I've found myself needing to say it less and less over the weeks.  I've stopped waking up in a panic.  I'm not lying when I say I would wake up with my heart pounding away in my chest from the stress and anxiety.  Before my feet even hit the floor to start my day, my heart rate was through the roof.  I seriously was worried I was going to have a heart attack. 

Being still is hard, but being still is sometimes the only thing  you can do.

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